Imperfectionism
Well, I feel like I might have just read another one of those books that makes me want to shout from the mountain tops. Thank you, dear Matt, from Blue Hill Books for bringing it to my attention. I’m only five chapters into Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman, and already I feel deeply connected to this author. He is putting words to something I’ve been feeling for a long time but struggling to articulate. I love this book and highly recommend it.
In the introduction, Burkeman speaks about the imperfect life and how vital it is that we stop trying so hard to hide our imperfections. As someone who devours self-help books on every possible topic imaginable in an effort to be a more loving, kinder, healthier, more efficient, more productive human, his words bring a sense of relief. I am grateful.
He suggests that when we see our imperfections as obstacles to a meaningful life, we prevent ourselves from ever arriving at the place we long for. We convince ourselves that if we just do this and this and follow the formula, we’ll finally arrive at success, peace, or fulfillment. But then that arrival point keeps moving.
He says that if we truly want to live well and love well, the most important step is letting go of perfectionism and the belief that we have to do it all. In our attempts to master every to-do list, ambition, and relationship, we often miss the beauty of the moment we’re in. We spend so much time trying to get things “right” that we fall short, sometimes even landing in discouragement or despair.
It’s not because we’re lazy or because we haven’t read the right book yet. Instead, what he says is that, “the greatest achievements often involve remaining open to serendipity; seizing unplanned opportunities, or riding unexpected bursts of motivation.” I totally believe this. It’s OK to strive. To keep working towards a better tomorrow, but don’t forget about the “now” you are in on the way.
All the great self-help books I have read and shared with you in my columns over the years are still books I would read again. I’ve learned so much from every single one. But what Oliver Burkeman reminds us is to humbly embrace the fact that we bring to the equation our failures, regrets and misunderstandings. And if we don’t hide them and instead join the rest of humanity of imperfection, it allows us to be in the moment and dive into life wholeheartedly – now.
“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” – Bill Watterson
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” – Eckhart Tolle
“It is easier to try to be better than you are than to be who you are.” – Marion Woodman
“Imperfectionism is a freeing and energizing outlook based on the conviction that your limitations aren’t obstacles to a meaningful existence… once you realize you’re never going to completely sort your life out, the time for meaning and accomplishment has to be now.” – Oliver Burkeman
Love and gratitude,